The following is an excerpt from Rhian Sherringtons book, Alchemy of the Mind: Create Your Confident Core, in which she very kindly asked me to contribute a chapter on EFT/Matrix Reimprinting and building confidence. As an example, it details the ways in which I used these techniques personally to become a confident and engaging public speaker:
“People that have issues around being confident often approach me, be that in the workplace, social situations, relationships or any other area of life. This typically comes along with frustration and low self-esteem, as they are continually beating themselves up through their internal dialogue. Yet, the concept of not being confident is nothing more than a limiting belief and as such, can be re-programmed into empowering belief instead.
An example of how a belief about confidence could arise might be as simple as this. Let’s say that a little boy, from age five, was often picked last to play on a team during games at school. Over time, this pattern would have been imprinted into that boy’s subconscious mind and could be formative in creating beliefs such as ‘I’m no good at sport’, ‘I’m always last to be chosen’ or even ‘People don’t like me’. This could remain very well hidden as children are very adaptable, yet as that boy goes through life, it can start to manifest in many different ways, including unwillingness to apply for a job, ask someone on a date or put their self forward for anything that involves a choice about them being made. These core beliefs can be very powerful in the way in which they manifest themselves in our later lives.
The good news is that we hold no blame for our beliefs, as they are entirely created through the circumstances that we have been through. Even better news is that beliefs that are no longer serving us can be addressed and more positive beliefs created in their place. Two very effective techniques to do this are Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Matrix Re-imprinting.
EFT enables you to quickly shift beliefs by identifying how you feel about a specific belief, then focusing on that feeling in the body and using it to track down a specific memory or memories that are associated with it. Then, via a process of gently tapping on meridian points (the points that needles are stuck into in acupuncture) while repeating phrases about the feelings and memories that come up, the body’s emotional response is quickly discharged. This has the, initially surprising, effect of enabling you to feel that the event or feelings are no longer relevant to you, which enables you to re-assess the belief and how true it remains to you. It is important to note that a belief doesn’t have to be completely eradicated in order to make amazing changes in your life. Even a tiny change, if acted upon, has infinite possibility within it. It could just offer that tiny boost that enables you to move forwards in completely new ways. This can then cause a snowball effect of new and more positive behaviour patterns appearing.
The first time that I heard that you could resolve major issues and create consistent and permanent changes in your life simply by using your fingers to tap on a few points around your face and body, I was sceptical yet inquisitive. It was sufficient for me to look into it and book onto a foundation course in EFT. I had no idea that it would lead to me leaving the corporate rat race, losing weight easily, improving my health and creating a new life full of freedom and happiness. I had been working in financial services for many years and although I was content in many ways, this aspect of my life had never felt truly comfortable, as if I was missing a significant piece. Learning EFT and subsequently Matrix Re-imprinting was the pivotal point in my life, leading gradually to the realisation that I was truly in control of my own life, rather than being subject to whatever external circumstances came my way.
One amazing change that I have made is the ability to confidently engage in public speaking. I used to dread doing this and have avoided it for much of my life. I found that I was able to use EFT to clear my nervousness and worries about embarrassing myself in front of people and this meant that I was much more comfortable and confident in stepping up and delivering a presentation. However, I still struggled to deliver a presentation without having my whole script typed out and in my hand, even when I was totally confident with my subject matter.
With Matrix Re-imprinting, I have been able to go a step further and find the root cause of this lack of confidence. By tuning into the feelings that came up when I thought about the issue, I honed in on an event that happened when I was around eleven years old and had to do a presentation at school. The eleven year old me had little interest in the subject, was terribly unprepared and had rambled through what he thought was nonsense. What I didn’t realise then was this eleven year old me created a subconscious vow not to let this happen again. This was manifesting itself in my adult life as the requirement for notes. By clearing the emotional trauma of this memory and then giving the eleven year old me what he wanted, which was delivering a sparkling and interesting presentation (he changed the subject to time travel and then proved it existed by bringing the adult me into the classroom at the end of the presentation!), I was able to clear the subconscious requirement to hide behind my notes.
Matrix Re-imprinting can have even more profound effects than EFT as it enables you to not only track down the events leading to the formation of beliefs, but enables you to act as a coach to your younger self, a part of which is still stuck in the trauma of the original event in your subconscious mind. This allows you to clear any emotional pain that is still held and then change elements of the memory to create new, more positive beliefs and emotional states that can then change your life in surprising and delightful ways. Both EFT and Matrix Re-imprinting allow you to be very creative and can be a lot of fun as well as profoundly effective.
One of the main benefits of these techniques for anyone that wants to create a confident core inside them is that, once learned, they can be applied at any time, without requiring the presence of a practitioner to deal with day-to-day stress, anxiety and other issues. Over time, this has the cumulative effect of stripping away negativity and enabling you to live a life of increased confidence, joy and freedom. It is such a simple and powerful self-help technique that it should be in everyone’s toolkit.”
If you are interested in reading more of Rhians’ book, it is available here www.choose2flourish.co.uk/products
If you’d like to find out more about using EFT to build confidence or move beyond irrational fears, contact me here.
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